eat your serial

Are you guys listening to the #Serial podcast, because if not... Oh my god... We're breaking up. 

http://serialpodcast.org

gimme that hat!

It's too cold to not wear one and I don't want to deal with this mane. 

do your part

sidewalk goat

GOAT!!!

goats!

That is all for today. Go forward and be well, swaddled in the idea that somewhere out there is a goat jumping off rocks and doing cartwheels.

treats?

If someone could bring me some Rice Krispy treats, that'd be great. Or if someone wants to bring me the stuff to make them, I'll happily prepare them and let you eat one. Terms are not negotiable. Thanks.

samhaseyebrows

Let's get serious, people. If you aren't following @samhaseyebrows on Instagram, you're missing out on all the cuteness the Internets has to offer. Also we're not friends again until you add him to your feed. 

You're welcome, in advance.

your scars

next year will be the best year.

I'm not gonna lie; I've had a truly epic year. But guise... 2015 is the year of the goat. THE YEAR OF THE GOAT. To get up to speed, watch this gif. Or not, if you hate goats. And happiness. And life.

and down the stretch they come!

My house turned into a racetrack while I was in the shower. Everyone probably had a great time and champagne toasts were had by all. Except me. No one saved me champagne. Haters. 

looking for weekend plans? might I suggest...

We should go see a movie this weekend! I'm thinking something racy, not smoochy.

not a goat video, but still...

Oh hey, don't forget: somewhere out there on the Internet, someone is making up funny crap. I personally prefer goat videos and gifs because goats are amusing but this qualifies as a good substitute.

quiet...

One of my favorite things about Missoula is nighttime. It's so quiet here.

Me, yesterday...

This was me yesterday. I headed north. Although technically I didn't come home to a barnyard, even though I have 3 cats. But one is some kind of rooster, waking me up at the butt crack of dawn with her melodious yowls.

Love is in the air...

This post's main title is better if you sing it. Don't hold back! Let your inner Pavarotti burst forth! And now:

An actual story from AP Mobile:

Masked bandit apologizes, kisses couple in robbery

HAGATNA, Guam (AP) - A masked gunman in Guam apologized to two employees of a small casino and hugged and kissed them before fleeing with more than $5,000.

The man, wearing a camouflage baseball cap on top of a black ski mask, entered the Lucky Land gambling room Wednesday night with a silver handgun. 

Surveillance video shows the gunman approaching the office window where employee Genevie Santos, 23, was working and her boyfriend, Jhan Olivarez, 24, an off-duty employee, was hanging out.

The masked man demanded money, Santos said. Video footage shows him stuffing cash into a black bag. He then took Olivarez's wallet, which contained about $200 and his ID.

Santos said she couldn't stop crying, which prompted the bandit to wrap the couple in a hug. Then he kissed Olivarez on the neck and Santos on the forehead.

Santos said he apologized, saying, "I'm sorry you had to be the ones working."

When she told the robber they didn't have money to renew Olivarez's license, he returned the ID and gave Olivarez $7.

oh, hello. it's been a while.

Back in 2008, this was my blog for, oh, 9 months. I recently rediscovered it. And, just like you, I said, “WTF?!?!?” Then I read it. It’s actually kind of funny. I used to actually be funny!!! Perhaps I could be funny again!

Good news! It is being resurrected! We shall call it Zombie Blog! Not really. It is still Fun with One-Eyed Girl. It seems all the more apropos since I literally only have one real, “born- with-this-organ” eye now. I am still blind in the other one but it’s been removed and tossed in a dumpster somewhere.

Anyway, stay tuned for updates. Or go read the old posts. Whatever. It’s your life. It’d just be better with this blog in it.

*Full disclosure: I was a very different person 6(!) years ago. Though what I wrote on the blog was true for me at the time, I think (hope) I am less ignorant now.