Michael Pollan in City Weekly

New piece in City Weekly this week. Check it out. Also, my name looks good in print.

Link:
http://slweekly.com/index.cfm?do=article.details&id=A3B85E50-14D1-13A2-9F3E00273D4D7C60

Turn, turn...

“Turn, turn, that I may see their starry lights,
Your eyes of azure; turn. For one dear glance
I will reveal your love's most obscure delights,
And you shall drowse in pleasure's endless trance."

-Baudelaire as translated by Aldous Huxley

Apparently...

I tried to unsubscribe from JibJab. But, well, I don't exist.

Maybe it wasn't a thief

I don't understand. Your dog was stolen. How do you know? Was he running around out in your yard and you saw a burglar taking him, but you didn't stop the robber? What? Maybe your dog just went to McDonald's for a cheeseburger.

From the makers of iTunes and Super Phone

I work at Apple now. The Apple Store. Because I am awesome.

I told my Mom about it. "I got a job at the Apple Store!"
"The what?"
"The Apple Store."
"What's that?"
"You know, the iPod store."
"Ohhhhhh..."

I'm probably the most excited about getting a name tag that looks like an iPod. I hope I get mad discounts. And no, I won't buy you anything.

It may be good for you

This is an actual headline. Don't comment and ask if it's for reals. Or email and ask me if it's for reals. It's for reals. The Daily Herald, Provo, Utah. The copy editor was a bit naive.