This post's main title is better if you sing it. Don't hold back! Let your inner Pavarotti burst forth! And now:
An actual story from AP Mobile:
Masked bandit apologizes, kisses couple in robbery
HAGATNA, Guam (AP) - A masked gunman in Guam apologized to two employees of a small casino and hugged and kissed them before fleeing with more than $5,000.
The man, wearing a camouflage baseball cap on top of a black ski mask, entered the Lucky Land gambling room Wednesday night with a silver handgun.
Surveillance video shows the gunman approaching the office window where employee Genevie Santos, 23, was working and her boyfriend, Jhan Olivarez, 24, an off-duty employee, was hanging out.
The masked man demanded money, Santos said. Video footage shows him stuffing cash into a black bag. He then took Olivarez's wallet, which contained about $200 and his ID.
Santos said she couldn't stop crying, which prompted the bandit to wrap the couple in a hug. Then he kissed Olivarez on the neck and Santos on the forehead.
Santos said he apologized, saying, "I'm sorry you had to be the ones working."
When she told the robber they didn't have money to renew Olivarez's license, he returned the ID and gave Olivarez $7.
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