fun with one-eyed girl: barnes and noble

Showing posts with label barnes and noble. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

At Barnes and Noble yesterday, there was a creepy guy reading Cosmo. Which is cool, I guess. If you're a creepy guy.

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"I'm like Michael Clayton. I'm a fixer. So I'll fix it." –Me, at nearly every job I've ever had.
"I look just like the girl next door . . . if you happen to live next door to an amusement park." –Dolly Parton
"When you don't have any problem, you're dead." –Zelda Werner
"It's the rooster that does all the crowing, but it's the hen that delivers the goods." –Ann Richards
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room funiture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." –Fran Lebowitz
"In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear." – John C. Dvorak
"I never trust a skinny chef." (honestly, i don't)

"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream." –Beth Ditto of the band "Gossip"
"Some people mistake motion for progress." –Trok
"Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff." –Jack Handey
"In the end, the truth is all you have." –T.Cazier
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them." –Bill Vaughan
"Miss USA pageants are 1 ounce of semen away from porno." –Kate and Camilla
"Everything is media." –Geoffrey Moore